In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed, here

are some ACTUAL label instructions on consumer goods:

 On Sears hair dryer:
    Do not use while sleeping.

 On a bag of Fritos:
    You could be a winner!  No purchase necessary.
    Details inside.
 On a bar of Dial soap:
    Directions: Use like regular soap.
 Some Swann frozen dinners:
    Serving suggestion: Defrost.
 On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
    Fits one head.
 On Tesco's Tiramisu desert:
    Do not turn upside down.  (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
 On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
    Product will be hot after heating.
 On packaging for a Rowenta Iron:
    Do not iron clothes on body.
 On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
    Do not drive car or operate machinery.
 On Nytol (a sleep aid):
    Warning: may cause drowsiness.
 On a Korean kitchen knife:
    Warning: keep out of children.
 On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
    For indoor or outdoor use only.
 On a Japanese food processor:
    Not to be used for the other use.
 On Sainsbury's Peanuts:
    Warning: contains nuts.
 On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
    Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
 On a Swedish chainsaw:
    Do not attempt to stop chain with your hand.